I grew up in an age where we went outside and played, rang the doorbell to see if our friends were home, called off a phone that had a cord attached to it, and respected our 8:00 p.m. curfew on school nights. Social media was never something I was interested in. I tried MySpace when it came out, but my interest dwindled, and when Facebook came around, it was years before I created a profile. As huge a part of my life as writing was and still is, a blog was never something I could keep up with. I preferred to write stories that never saw the light of day because the older I got, the more embarrassed I was by my writing.
Then my mom passed away at the age of 63. I took a few days off work, but had to return so the bills could get paid. Returning to work was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It felt like I was forgetting her, like I didn’t care, like I just “got over it.” Inside I knew she wanted me to get back to work, that she wouldn’t want me to stop living. She’d told me that on many occasions. But as we sifted through her things and discarded or gave away what could not be used, I felt an overwhelming guilt.
I knew I needed to come up with a way to honor her memory. I needed a way to deal with the grieving process, to deal with the loss of the woman who gave birth to me, who raised me (along with my father, obviously). I needed to prove to the world, to everyone around me, and mostly to myself that I would never forget her. This blog is my grieving process. This blog is how I am dealing with the loss, and through it I hope to help other people in their grieving process for whoever they’ve lost, no matter how long ago it is.
People come and go in our lives and death is inevitable. There are some people who pass and we feel saddened for a while, we mourn them for a bit, we laugh at the memories (sometimes even the bad ones) but then there are people who are such a huge part of our lives, who play such an integral part even long after we’ve become a responsible adult, that the mourning and the grieving never ends, at least not for a while. My mother was one of those people in my life.
If you’d like to share a story or poem for someone you’ve lost, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org and I’d be happy to post it here to honor them. You can also find me on Instagram and Mirakee @autumndragonfire .